I have been having a particularly hard time as of late. Having my own little pity party I guess. I was just telling Sarge that it takes more energy to fight and not let this go and give it to God to deal with.
Back when I had my
health scare I wrote about being dependant on God. Then I wrote about
Nick saying why is it when we need something there we are pleading with him, but when everything is fine we shelve him. Am I using that as an excuse to not climb up in his lap and be willing to just let Jesus hold me? Am I afraid I will just be using him? Will I just shelve him when all is fine again? Is that really fair to Him? I mean is the only time he spends with me going to be me telling him how life is not fair and sobbing all the time?
I really do want to crawl up in His lap and let him hold me. I don't want to get down. But the enemy is distracting me. If it is not through ADD, then it is something else. Satan does not want me focused on Jesus. Because he know when I am focused on Jesus, I am a better wife, mama, daughter, sister and friend. And when my husband is "on fire" then you had better watch out.
As I sit here typing about this, our back sliding glass door shattered. No one touched the window. A bird did not fly into the window. The kids did not touch the window. No one was near the window. The sounds in the house were calm. And out of nowhere the inside window pane shatters. The sound in the house right after and as I type this sounds like
pop rocks. That is the sound the glass is making as it breaks into a
million pieces.
I have not been making the choice to listen to one of the many Christian radion stations that are available to listen to in my car. The other day I did.
Million Pieces by
The Newsboys was playing. I listened to the words.
They all fall
Like a million raindrops
Falling from a blue sky
Kissing your cares goodbye
They all fall
Like a million pieces
A tickertape parade high
And now you're free to fly
Carryin' a millstone malaise
It's been pulling down your gaze
You pound the pavement
It don't give or care
This weight ain't yours to bear
Why you holdin' grudges in old jars?
Why you wanna show off all your scars?
What's it gonna take to lay a few burdens down?
It's a beautiful sound
When they all fall
Like a million raindrops
Falling from a blue sky
Kissing your cares goodbye
They all fall
Like a million pieces
A ticker tape parade high
And now you're free to fly
When that muffled sigh
Says you're barely getting by
Cut your burdens loose and just simplify
Simplify
This is not your floor
You're going higher than before
Drop the weight now
Wait for the lookout guide
Look outside
As they all fall
Like a million raindrops
Falling from a blue sky
Kissing your cares goodbye
They all fall
Like a million pieces
A ticker tape parade high
Now you're free to fly
You've gotta lay that burden down
You're gonna lay that burden down
It's time to leave your burdens in a pyre
Set a bonfire
'Cause when you lay your burdens down
When you lay your burdens down
When you drop them burdens
What a free-fall
What a thrill
Bury them all
In a landfill
That is what I need to do. Bury them all.
Thanks for praying for me. I covet all your prayers and will be praying for you too.
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